Definition of a Bodeguero….Pt.1

My business does not define me.
It’s a major part of my life, but theres more to me than stocking shelves, slangin’ lotto tickets, and dealing with the ubiquitous scratch off monsters.
But I see how it can be hard for y’all to see past that sometimes……
Shit, its hard for ME to see past it at times.
I love music.
I can get lost for hours at a time just listening to my favorite artists, and discovering new ones.
I love to write (obviously).
I don’t do it as often as Id like to..
And maybe I should. its a great release.
It kinda grounds me and helps to release all the negativity in my life.
I fashion myself to be an artist, as well.
I dabble in drawing here and there….…
I would love to get into painting.
Expressing yourself on canvas with different colors, textures, and brushes has always intrigued me.
Photography!
I love it!
I wish I was better at it.
But it takes time.
Something I don’t have much time for these days
But I definitely believe that being able to capture a moment in time….…
That one precise, perfect moment in a photograph truly tells a story.
And it excites me to be able to do that…
Or at least try to.
Unfortunately, my profession is a bit demanding, to say the least.
I rarely get to “cut loose” and express myself.
But the bills got to get paid, I guess.
And for now, this is whats providing for me and mines.
SO until that faithful day I hit the lotto….
Or find a sucka…I mean, BUYER, for my store;
I guess Ill be relegated to keeping my interests strictly “vocational”.
But one day, you’ll see my name on the back of a CD under “executive producer”
Or on the far, bottom left corner of a painting….
Maybe on the front cover of a photography book.
Until then, its all about Goya black beans and scratch off tickets…….
Aint nothing wrong with dreaming, tho……

Keep it positive, ya’ll

(‘Spic) Jedi Mind Tricks

I get put through many awkward moments here at the bodega.

Too many to list here, unfortunately

But none more so than the Spic Jedi Mind Trick.

The Force is strong in this one....

Don’t laugh….its not funny.

Its weird, and just plain ol’ creepy.

Come take a walk with me and let me tell you how it usually goes down:

1^st Scenario:

Customer walks in, approaches my cell…er, I mean counter and says “Excuse me, are you guys hiring?”

Valid question, right? No biggie….

I say, “No, I’m sorry. We aren’t.”

End of conversation, you would think, right?

Negative.

Scratch Off Monsters

Why are you still here?

Why wont you just take yo ass home already??

You’ve been here, at my store for 3 **fucking** hours now….

Playing scratch offs incessantly.

The Baine of my exsitance

Your fingers look like you were playing with ash.

Black and nasty…..you have “scratch off dust” under your fingernails.

You are cock blocking me from doing ANYTHING AT ALL…..

I cant even go piss, because everytime I turn to walk away….there you are…with that dumb smirk on ya face.

“Dame otro de el mismo……..Lemme get another…same one”

God in heaven FORBID that Im actually tending to another customer, or dealing with a vendor and you have to wait 30 whole seconds for me to give you another ticket. Cause then Scratchy McScratch Scratch gets impatient….starts sighing loudly…..tapping on the counter.

So I was thinking Im due for an update……

So, I’ve been slacking as of late. No updates, no blogging, no nothing…..Having a blog that’s specific to a certain topic is awesome. It allows me to vent and share some of the hilariousness that I experience on a daily basis….but the drawback to it is that I run out of material after a while. There’s only so much I can write about my bodega before I get repetitive. And I don’t want to sit here and recycle stories or even make stuff up. That would just defeat the purpose, no?

So, I’ve decided to expand my topics. Going forward, I will not only write about the bodega, but my life in general. And in all honesty, me writing about my life outside of the bodega will still be about the bodega. My store affects every aspect of my life, so it’s only right that I share everything.

So, sit back, relax….grab that fifth of Hennessy, blunt, crack pipe, whatever….and enjoy.

You’re in for a wild ride…….welcome to my life…..

Bodega Rule #4080……

Having worked in retail/ customer service since I was 15, I’ve seen a lot of things. I’ve dealt with a plethora of problematic people. Crazies. Shoplifters. Homeless people buying $300 dollars worth of Xbox games (seriously…..I wouldn’t make that up).

You name it; I’ve pretty much seen and been through it. You develop a thick skin after so many years in the proverbial *trenches*.

What did the 5 fingers say to the face?

*SMACK*

Thats what.

Allow me clarify a few things before I get into what happened recently at the bodega. I deplore violence. Nothing good ever comes from it. I personally feel that anything….well, almost anything……can be talked out without it ever having it escalating to the point of physical confrontation.

In my younger years, I was a hot head with a very short fuse. I was quick to take a swing at someone if I even felt slightly “disrespected”. And Baby Jesus forbid you got smart with one of my friends…especially if they we

“Everybody….Homie is back here taking a shi……!!”

Is it REALLY that important?

*Sigh*

Never thought I would see this day come. Not in a million years. I never thought that one would have to resort to posting such a crude sign on the bathroom door JUST so I wouldn’t be disturbed when I’m “chunking a duece”…..”sending a fax”…….”sitting on the throne”…..”hablando con Mistoyca (Mistoycagando, that is)”.

Its been so long…..

Greetings and salutations, BodegaLife faithful!

I apologize for my extended absence, but a bodeguero has been busy as of late. Starting in mid

Bodega Muzik!

Music is essential to me getting through my day at work. It provides the necessary entertainment and distraction (if that makes sense) to keep me from going insane. Im always searching for great music, and when I do come across something worth while, I feel the need to share it.

Enter the homie B.YONEST, hailing from Columbus, OH. With sharp, witty rhymes and a descriptive flow, B paints pictures with his words,

Please tell me you didnt just take that out of there….

Hookers. Got to love ‘em……
….from a bodega owner’s standpoint, that is. Aside from the occasional chin check in the parking lot from their “ Booking Agents” (The word “Pimp” has such a negative connotation), they rarely cause any trouble, and are excellent customers. They create a steady stream of revenue for me all